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Frances Kelleher | Dating Coach & Dating Expert | Ireland

Frances Kelleher Coaching

Multi-Award Winning Coach

5 Secrets To Attract The Man You Want

5 Secrets To Attract The Man You Want

We all want to find that special someone but how do we do it. Let’s talk about 5 secrets to attract the man you want.


I can’t stress how important this is. It seems basic but smiling sends a signal to men that you are approachable and non-threatening which means everything to a guy when he is interested. Men are very fearful of rejection so make it easy for him and smile. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Have nice open body language. Don’t cross your arms. It closes you off and says don’t come near me. It also makes you appear less confident. One of the things I hear most from men is they don’t know how to begin to approach a woman they like.

Us women travel in packs; we are the wolves of the dating world. Men are like the lions, they travel alone. A lot of the time the guy has to approach the group of women which is even more daunting. 99% of the time a man will not do this as it’s too much of a risk for him which brings me onto my next point.

Learn to leave the wolf pack

We need to learn to stand alone when we are out. Staying in the pack all night is not helping us or the men that want to talk to us. It does not encourage men to make a move. In fact, it hinders them severely. So does sitting down all night at a corner table or couch. Get up and walk around sporadically during your night out. Talk to people. Mingle. It all creates a new network, so you meet new people. Go to the bar on your own. Go to the toilet on your own. Give men a chance to talk to you. Do this and men will not only approach you, but they will chat you up, call you over, come over to you and offer to buy you a drink.

Turn on your green light.

This is probably one of the best kept secrets in the dating world, but woman can actually make the first move. It can be so subtle, that some women don’t even realize it themselves. We send out signals telling a man whether or not it is safe for him to approach. Every woman has a traffic light. As I like to think of it, over her head with a red or green light instructing the men what to do.

Stop and stay where you are(red) or yes you can approach(green). For instance, to show green you should smile and give eye contact. You can look over every now and then and smile or when you have eye contact, let it linger for a few seconds longer than usual before you break it. These are all ways to turn on and show your green light. Once he does approach you, he then thinks that he has made the first move and feels good about himself, so things get off to a great start.

Be the best version of yourself

We all want the best out there with everything in life, its human nature. In order to do this, we should try to be the best ourselves. If you want a kind, healthy and athletic guy you need to be those things also. Like attracts like. We need to keep the same standard for ourselves that we want our guy to live up to. Strive to be the best you inside and out and you ll attract the best guy for you.

Stay in your feminine energy

Guys hate when a woman is exerting her masculine side (being bitchy, insulting, fighting or being aggressive). Men love feminine women and feminine energy because they don’t have it themselves. Nor do their male friends. It’s something that is so different because us women are such emotional beings. Men thrive on feminine energy because it includes encouragement, gentleness, appreciation, acceptance, support and love.

Us women are champions are expressing all these emotions and men thrive on them. When you are talking a to guy genuinely express the above list. Boost his ego. Being in your feminine lets him shine in his masculine energy. A man wants to find a woman that brings out the best in him. This is what a man lives for and wants from his woman. He wants to feel you want and see his unique light. By good conversation you can bring out the best in a man which I can guarantee you is a direct runway to his heart.

So, follow these 5 secrets to attract the man you want and watch what happens.