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Frances Kelleher | Dating Coach & Dating Expert | Ireland

Frances Kelleher Coaching

Multi-Award Winning Coach

Dating expert Frances Kelleher shares three mistakes you could be making on dating apps

Have you been talking to a guy for ages, but for some reason it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere? Are you wondering why he still hasn’t asked you out? Frances Kelleher shares her top tips.

I know as a woman how your imagination runs wild when you first connect with a possible suitor on an online dating app. After a couple of messages, you are imagining that this guy could actually be the one. He could be the guy above all others that ticks all the boxes…polite, kind, hot, exciting, and committed! You actually begin to believe that this guy could actually exist until…

After a lot of messages back and forth you realise he has no intention of asking on a real-life date and you are now running out of things to say. So, what do you do?

Here are three tips to save you from what I call the online ocean, and stop you from ending up with no dates.

1. Make sure your pictures are good

Men are very visual (more so than women) and people make up their minds about you in a 40th of a second. Think about how fast that really is. If your pictures are not good, I would go so far as to say that there is no point in being online. You need the pictures to attract the right type of guys and they need to be interesting, so the guys can strike up an easy conversation with you. This is the first step in getting connections that lead to a date.

2. Don’t over-communicate

When we send a thousand texts back and forth, it leads to nothing. Research has shown that the more you communicate, the less likely you are to get a real-life date. People think it is the opposite! Don’t over-communicate and kill the anticipation and passion before you have even met the guy. Instead, you could say something that will nudge him in the direction of taking it offline, for example: “I think I’m getting tendonitis from all the texting, haha”.

3. Keep the mystery alive

A lot of the time, we share much more than we realise in our communication. Sending pics of your dinner, lunch and daily activities gives everything away. Hold back and keep the mystery. Mystery in dating is very important as it fuels desire and curiosity. These are all things that keep the passion alive.

Do not be available 24/7 either. It comes across as boring because it seems like you have nothing else in your life to do but be on a dating app texting. It’s OK not to answer texts right away. It creates wanting and longing and they are great things when it comes to dating.

If you want to get a great online profile and learn how to message to get real life dates, contact me at or You can also check out my Facebook group here.

By Frances Kelleher & Kayla Walsh Lifestyle Editor