Sick of Tinder and dying to get out there and meet people in real life now that lockdown restrictions are finally over?
Here, dating expert Frances Kelleher shares her advice.
Almost everyone I meet, men and women, tell me they want to meet people in the flesh. They do not want to meet over a computer on an app.
“They do not want to have to navigate what they feel is a much more artificial way of dating. So why are people not meeting more in real life than we did years ago and how can we meet real guys offline?
Since the lockdown is over and we are getting out more now I wanted to give you a few tips.
Put your phone down
Phones are what I call weapons of mass relationship destruction. They are a wall around you in the eyes of a potential suitor trying to make eye contact with you or even start a conversation with you. When you are out walking, in a café, or sitting on a bench taking in the scenery, leave your phone in your bag. Be present at the moment, be aware of potential single guys on the lookout for romance too and be available for guys to approach you.
You have to be open to having conversations
If you want to meet people in the real world this is how it might start: eye contact, smile, and conversation. It might happen in a different order, but it always leads to a conversation. It might seem not so obvious, but it is literally that simple. Having conversations is what leads to everything good and bad e.g., romance, dates, affairs, and fights. You name it and it can all be boiled down to a conversation. That is why in the film Pretty Woman when Julia Roberts is talking to a guy at the polo match, Richard Gere says “I didn’t like it” to which she replies, “but we were just talking” to which he replies again – “I didn’t like it”.
If you want guys to ask you out, you have to show you are open to having a conversation. So be approachable by putting down your phone and starting conversations with everyone – man, woman, and child. This will sharpen your social skills and confidence so when you do see that hot guy in the queue or standing beside you at the bar you will be ready to have a great conversation and pull him in.
When I say smile, I do not mean a big brimming nonstop smile. I mean, have an expression as if you are going to break into a smile – a happy pleasant expression. Most women I see don’t do this. They do not show that they are nice, non-threatening people that can be approached. I cannot express how important this is. Men will not approach a woman if they feel they are not safe. They fear rejection hugely and are afraid of being made fun of or laughed at so show them that you are kind and sweet and do smile if a guy makes eye contact with you or approaches you. Doing this will make you stand out.
Kayla Walsh Features Editor